Scumbag Court
by MistyxKisame
Summary: Everybody is suing everybody in The Walking Dead. Whether it's for petty crimes or major ones, doesn't matter. At the end of the day, someone's getting punished. Case suggestions and punishments welcome. Submissions welcome. Just be sure to add "scumbag" if it's from my scumbag series, "Based off a Pairing" if the case is based off a pairing, and "canon" if it's from canon.
1. Clementine vs Cabin Group

Welcome to Scumbag Court, a story inspired by NedtheJanitor's DBZ Court. You all can make suggestions if you'd like. It can be cases or just punishments or both. Totally Scumbag Island coming soon (as in it's getting published sometime today).

* * *

"All raise for the honorable Judge Alexander." said the bailiff.

"YO FUCK THAT!" said Lee.

"Lee!" said Carley sounding embarrassed.

"Stand up or fuck outta here!" said the bailiff.

"FUCK YOU!"

"NO FUCK YOU!"

"NO FUCK YOU!"

"I'm already here!" said Alex. "Just drop it."

"No! That bastard needs to show some respect!"

"How about you show me some respect and read me off the case of today?" said Alex rolling his eyes.

"Fine." he glared at Lee and made a "I'm watching you!" gesture. "Clementine vs Cabin Group. Clementine is suing the Cabin Group consisting of Luke, Nick, Rebecca, Alvin, Carlos, Pete, and Sarah for child neglect and child endangerment."

"Alright bring 'em in!" said Alex.

The respective groups came and sat down. Clementine was throwing dirty looks at the Cabin group and whispering "You're going down!" to them. She hated that she had to include Pete and Alvin, but fuck it. She was told if she was going to sue the other people in the group, it had to include Pete and Alvin if she wished to win this case against them.

"Okay, Clementine. You can go ahead." said the judge. "Just tell us what happened."

"Excuse me your honor!" said Luke. "But I don't think she should be the one going first."

"Oh and why is that?" asked Alex raising a brow. "Is it because you're being charged with endangering a child?"

"No, because of how she is!" said Luke.

"Well I don't personally know her. Besides, I want to hear her side of the story." said Alex. "You all will get your side after her. Okay, Clementine. Please speak."

"Well it all started..." she began.

 _"I got bit by a dog! Please help me!" Clementine sobbed. "Please help me!"_

 _"Okay, well we'll get your arm all fixed up!" said Luke in an extremely hick voice that one could barely tell what he was saying._

"Hey! I sound nothing like that!" said Luke.

"Quiet!" said Alex. "You let her speak!"

 _"OH SWEEEEEEEEEEET GOAT HUKIE!" said Luke dropped Clementine on her injured arm._

"Goat hukie!?" said Luke. "What?!"

"Sh!" said the judge. "Go on."

 _"She got bit!" said Luke. "Oh no! She go-nah get us!"_

Luke impatiently tapped his fingers on the table. He turned to Nick and whispered, "I don't sound like that do I?"

"No..." said Nick shifting his eyes everywhere but at Luke. He was trying not to laugh.

"Why the fuck are you laughing?" he hissed.

"Quiet over there, dumbass!" said Alex slamming down his gavel on his podium. "Go on and if I hear you again, Luke, I'll come over there and smack the shit out of you. Clem?"

She cleared her throat and continued.

 _"Calm down, Bubba Luke." said Pete. "Let me have a look."_

 _He looked at her arm. "Hm, I can't really tell, but I believe her."_

 _"Well I ain't carrin' that thing!" said Luke. "She gonna bit me!"_

"OBJECTION!" said Luke.

"Do you need to leave the room?" asked Alex rolling his eyes at the man.

"But...!"

"Shut it."

 _"I'm not! I feel so weak. I don't think I can go any longer."_

 _"Too bad, soon to be walker, so lukie-er" Luke said picking his nose. "Get ta steppin' you fuck. Go on."_

 _"I feel so..." Clementine fainted while Luke cackled in the background._

 _When she woke up she was laying on the ground with a gun pointed at her. She was terrified and tried to run away. Before she got far, she was shot at. She was told by Nick to come back to them. She went over crying. Pete snatched away his gun._

 _"Stop crying like a lil ho!" said Rebecca._

 _"You've gotta help me! My arm hurts!" she sobbed._

 _"FAKER!" said Rebecca._

 _"Come on Rebecca. She's just a little girl. We can do without a little bit..." said Alvin. He never finished his sentence due to Rebecca elbowing him. "Nevermind. We can't do shit."_

 _"What's going on out here?" said Carlos coming out of the cabin._

 _"I need help!" she cried._

 _He took a look at her arm for a few minutes. Sarah peeked out of the house. "Who's that?"_

 _"SARAH! GET YOUR DUMB ASS BACK IN THE FUCKING HOUSE OR DO YOU WANT THE BAT AGAIN!?"_

"Objection!" said Carlos.

"Overruled!"

 _"N-no!" Sarah whimpered and went back inside of the house._

 _"So what's the prognosis?" asked Luke._

 _"Who the fuck are you!?" said Nick._

 _"You know who I am!" said Luke._

 _"Oh right...it threw me off when you said that big boy word." said Nick. He then mumbled, "...even if you didn't use it right."_

"OBJECTION!"

"Overruled."

 _"We gotta lock her in the shed back there." said Carlos. He then turned and glared at the group as they got into a little circle. "You idiots know I'm not a real doctor. How the hell am I supposed to know a lurker bite from a dog bite!?"_

 _"What?! N-no!" said Clementine. "My b-...cut needs to be cleaned, stitched, and bandaged! Please."_

 _"Until we know for sure."_

 _"So you're going to lock me up outside?" she asked wide-eyed._

 _"You ain't comin' in the house!" said Rebecca while Nick and Luke nodded in agreement while Alvin looked at her in pity._

 _"It's what's safe for all of us including yourself."_

 _"But! But!" Carlos had already walked off. Clementine started crying when Nick smacked the shit out of her, grabbed her by the neck, and dragged her to the shed with Luke right behind them._

"BULL SHIT! I didn't hit you!" said Nick. "That was fucking Troy!"

"Oh right...my bad. He just pointed a gun at me the whole time after he headbutted Pete."

"Are you ser..."

"Quiet in the court!" said Alex.

 _Clementine cried out in sorrow as they locked her in the shed. No food, no water, and nothing to keep her warm or anybody keeping her company. She was cold, scared, and hungry. No one had come in to check in on her and she could just barely hear the walkers outside. She needed to get out of there and get to moving. She'd die before morning if she didn't take care of her dog bite. She got up and looked around for something to break her out. She found a hammer and broke out of the poorly placed wood covered exit and went towards the house. She found Alvin and Rebecca talking in their room. She peeked in on Alvin and Rebecca._

 _Rebecca was loudly physically and mentally abusing Alvin, repeatedly slapping, punching, and kicking him. "PUT SOME TRAMP BEFORE OUR FAMILY AGAIN AND I SWEAR I'LL KNOCK YOUR FUCKING TEETH OUT! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"_

 _"Y-yes ma'am!" Alvin sniffled._

 _"GOOD AND BY GOD STOP CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!" She said putting her hands on her hips. "Next time I'm getting the belt!"_

 _"Please don't!"_

 _She just scowled at him and walked away. Alvin broke down and blubbered like a baby. Clementine took pity on him and knocked. Alvin jumped looking around and saw it ws Clem. "Get outta here before you get me killed!"_

 _"I saw how she was being mean to you."_

 _"Y-you saw that!?" said Alvin. She nodded. "I'll get you some bandages if you swear not to tell."_

 _"Thank you." Clementine was revealed. Alvin gave her what she needed including a juice box. She left him be as he headed off to the meeting and she snuck inside. She heard them plotting her demise along with a few other things like Carver or something. She didn't care. She had to keep moving._

 _She went upstairs and found Sarah. Sarah was pretty chirpier about the whole situation and even made a new friend. She also found out that her father was trying to manipulate her._

 _"This is stupid. Are we really going to sit here and let her tell these lies?!" said Carlos._

 _"Quiet over there!" said the bailiff._

 _Sarah gave her some peroxide and Clementine got a needle from the bathroom. Rebecca came in and revealed that she was a dirty ho._

"I believe it." said the judge.

"Excuse me?" said Rebecca.

"Uuuuuuuuuuh okay wrap this up Clem!" he said quickly not realizing he said this out loud.

 _She nodded and went into detail about how she had to sew up her own arm with little to no experience and could have passed out and gotten eaten by the walker that just come before she could wrap up her arm. Then bastards had the nerves NAY the **audacity** to get mad because she tried to save her life! After all that bullshit, Carlos finally got his lazy ass up and looked at her arm and then threatened her if she didn't manipulate Sarah into jumping off a cliff. Plus he also refused to allow her something to protect herself with. She then told the courtroom all about how Nick offered a MINOR alcohol and then touched her inappropriately._

"Oh and Luke hit me multiple times too. Nick did it more though."

"I certainty hope this story is fake!" said Alex turning angrily to the cabin group while the people behind them murmured with rage.

"OF COURSE IT IS! SHE'S BEEN LYING THE WHOLE TIME!" said majority of the group.

"Okay then. Luke you can speak now."

Luke then told them their side of the story. When he was done, the judge looked over to the jury, consisting of multiple people from the TT, anime, and cartoon universes. "Jury, your verdict?"

"GUILTY AS FUCK!" said Rhys. "Especially **_that_ ** mother fucker right there. Yeah you, Bubba J!"

"Poor little thing! She had me crying the whole time!" sobbed Fiona. "Lock 'em up, judge!"

"I wasn't really paying attention, but I say fuck 'em." said Asher. "They look like they're up to no good especially that Rebecca lady. She looks like she abuses men!"

"The rest of you?" asked the judge.

"Guilty! Even if Clementine's story was false..." said Sakura.

"Which it is!" said Nick.

"You all admitted to locking her up in a shed with no food, no water, and no protection!" finished Sakura. "Besides her story was more believable! How could something so cute lie?"

"YOU'RE BEING DECEIVED!" said Luke.

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" the judge banged his gavel down a few more times. "Luke, you get the stocks where once every hour the smelliest person in town..."

"Which is me!" said a very large man that had literal stink waves radiating off his body. Luckily he was bubbled in. "And the name's Bacterian!" (1)

"...come and fart in your face and rub various parts of his smelly body in your face. Rebecca, you're getting the same except you have to attend anger management classes after 3 days and get lessons on how not to be a cheating bitch. Pete, Alvin, and Sarah are free to go but Alvin and Sarah have to take lessons on how not to let people run over you."

"I don't let people run over me!" said Alvin.

"Me either!" said Sarah.

"Bullshit!" coughed Clementine.

"Carlos, because of you being a failure as a doctor...oh wait impersonating one, 40 lashes and 20 days of classes on what teeth make which marks for dumbasses! Nick, one day of what Luke and Rebecca are getting, 46 days classes of how to control your trigger fingers and how to shoot a gun, and 150 lashes either all at once or some a day at a time."

"WHAT?!" said Nick.

"Now get the hell out of here, you mother fuckers!" said Alex.

"Hey can I get a recording of that?" asked Clementine.

"Yep and I'll be getting a copy too...uh for research." said Alex.

Just about everybody was pissed about their punishments, while Clementine was satisfied that they were getting what was coming to them...that and she'd be getting to laugh at their misery very soon.

* * *

Look him up. He's real...well in the Dragon Ball world he is. Meaning I didn't just make him up. He's a thing.


	2. Clementine vs Campman

Don't worry, each one will be done. I will do them all. Anyways, you can suggest cases based from scumbag interviews or anything else. Suggestions for punishments for the guilty party can be given too. You don't have to put a specific name down for punishments. This is a bit short. Sorry about that. Case suggested by **Jahsgwikabe**.

* * *

"All had better raise for the honorable Judge Alexander!" said the baliff.

Everyone obeyed and stood until the judge came in and sat down. "What's the case of today?"

"Today, Clementine is suing..."

"Didn't she just leave the court about a week ago?"

"Yep, it's the same one." he said looking over the case. "Anyways, it says she's suing someone called 'The Stranger' for kidnapping her when she was 8 years old."

"Alright, bring 'em in." said the judge. Once both came in and sat at their respective tables. "Before I hear from either of you, first off, Clementine."

"Judge." said Clementine politely.

"Second, I'm not calling you 'The Stranger' although I should be calling you the pedo-bear." said Alex. "What's your real name?"

"David, your honor and I..."

"Yeah yeah. Now, Clementine, tell us what happened." said Alex cutting off David.

"He kidnapped me after luring me away from Lee!" said Clementine.

"You wanted to come!"

"Yeah because you lied about having my parents!"

"I saved you!"

"YOU DIDN'T SAVE SHIT! LEE GOT BIT BECAUSE OF YOU...well it was my fault too, but it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't lied!"

"Wait hold on. One thing at a time." said Alex. "It says here that Clementine made a statement that she had been talking to you for quite some time. A grown ass man at that."

"I wasn't doing anything wrong!" said David. "It wasn't like I asked what she was wearing or for her to touch herself!"

"Part of that's correct." said Clementine.

"Part?" He raised a brow and looked at the man. "What part are you talking about?"

"He occasionally asked what I had on." she said looking over him too.

"Was it in a sexual way?"

"No."

"Why were you asking what she had on?" Alex asked David who had been rolling his eyes.

"To see if that bastard that calls himself a guardian had proper clothes on her." said David in a matter of fact voice.

"BITCH!" said Lee's voice ringing out from somewhere behind the audience.

"It's not up to you to interfere with how she's being cared for unless she was in complete danger." said Alex.

"She was in danger AND her guardian is a monster!" he yelled. "He killed a man before he met her and he let a guy die just so some pretty woman could live!" (1)

"What's so wrong about that?" asked Alex.

"Did you not hear what I just said? He saved a woman instead of a man just because he was attracted to her!"

"How would you even know that? That gives you no excuse to be pissed. Let's just move onto the other reasons."

"He killed two people in front of her!" said David.

"And why is that?"

"That were just the Saint Johns." said Clementine. "They tried to kill us!"

"Reasonable enough. It was self defense." said Alex. "Nothing wrong there."

"HE KILLED IN FRONT OF HER!"

"And you kidnapped a little girl, held her hostage, tricked her into thinking you had her parents and you didn't which is fucked up and suspicious, and you attacked Lee after he tried getting her away from your crazy ass. Not to mention you also stalked the group."

"I just wanted to make sure she was safe!" said David angrily.

"Whatever. Clementine?"

"I wanna call Lee to the stand!" said Clementine.

Lee came in and gave the bailiff and then the stranger the finger before sitting down. The bailiff glared at Lee. "Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"Yeah, sure sure." said Lee waving him off.

"So Lee. What happened?" asked the judge.

"Well, when we were on the train, I held a voice on the radio claiming that he had her parents with him and that he wanted her to come to him whether I wanted her to or not."

"Did he have said parents?"

"FUCK NO!" exclaimed Lee. "When I got there, he had her in a room with a rope tied to the damn door! Her parents were really walkers in the street!"

"Is this true?"

"Yes, but..."

"Case closed. Fuck you. You kidnapped her and you admitted to it." said Alex banging his gravel down. "I sentence you to 3 months in the loonie bin where every hour except the hours between 10:30 pm to 9:00 am you will be beaten with either a belt or a whip. Also every other day you'll be taken out to the stocks with the others and instead getting fruits and such thrown at you...well...just prepare your anus."

"WHAT?! THIS IS UNLAWFUL! UNJUST! YOU'LL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER!"

"You should have been seeing this from a mile away." said Alex. "I mean you had your fucking zombie wife's head in a bowling bag. You belong with your own kind, except I think not even the craziest person there would do that shit. Oh and I'd love to see you do so. If your lawyer was smart, he wouldn't have told your stupid ass to come here. He probably did, but you came here anyways. Case dismissed."

* * *

(1) If you save Carley (which most did), he says you're saving Carley because she looks good. Meanwhile if you save Doug, it's because you're trying to hid your secret. Also, no matter what you do in-game he'll always find more to criticize you for. He's basically that asshole that judges your decisions in-game like that woman in Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.

After writing this, I just realized I gave Ben's teacher and The Stranger the same names. Oh well. I don't think he was ever given a canon name in the credits and he and Clementine never gave it in the game. He probably told her over the radio when they spoke.

Also was anybody else thinking, "Stranger danger!" when it was revealed Clementine was talking with someone over the radio. I mean trusting Lee was one thing since he turned out to be a good guy. Plus they do tell you to go to a teacher if you need help although she didn't know he was a teacher and even some teachers you can't trust. But still though I get why since she really missed her parents and was desperate to get to them which is established in every episode...well I think except maybe the 2nd one I think? It may have been all of them in season 1 and once or twice in season 2. Kind of wish Clem had at least one alive in the series or some relative.


	3. Cabin & Ski Lounge Group vs Carver

Guest- Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me. I didn't know that.

Guest- Why would Clementine sue them? For him biting her or abandoning their dog?

Kenny- Is Kenny suing Michonne or is Norma suing her? I'm confused.

Jahsgwikabe- I'm nearly done watching it, so yes.

Gboy123- LOL. I'll be sure to do that one soon. XD

CrazyFangirls17- Thanks. :D

* * *

" _ **ALL**_ raise for the honorable Judge Alexander." said the bailiff. Lee crossed his arms, not moving. "I SAID ALL RAISE INCLUDING THE IGNORANT SHIT IN THE BACK!"

"RACIST!" Lee shouted.

"A) I'M BLACK TOO, SO HOW IS IT RACIST? B) I TOLD EVERYONE TO STAND UP! NOW STAND UP, YOU..."

"Lee, keep this up and you will be leaving this court room!" said Alexander walking in. "Alright. What's the case of today?"

"Let's see...Cabin Group and Clementine are suing the residents of Howe's leader, Carver, for kidnapping, child abuse, attempted murder, and murder." read off the bailiff.

"Interesting." said Alex rubbing his chin. "Alright, bring 'em in!"

The parties came into the court room. Sarita, Kenny, Luke, Rebecca, and Clementine and Bonnie on one side and Carver, Tavia, and Troy on the other side.

"How were the beatings?" Alex asked.

"Horrible thanks." Rebecca held back a smart remark while Luke also held back a retort/answer.

"I'm surprised you're back here with these assholes." said the judge to the young girl.

"Well I wanna see him punished too." she shrugged. "Besides, I would have sued him secretly, but well I can't say too much more other than he's going down too."

"Alright. Because all of you are suing Carver, one of you go first." said Alex. "Who's speaking for you all?"

"Kenny." said Clementine.

"So what happened Kenny?"

"These bastards came along, rounded us all up, killed Walter and Alvin, and shipped us all off to his camp." said Kenny. "We didn't even get a choice! They just grabbed us and forced us with fucking guns! Then we when we got there, they forced us to work, Reggie got pushed off the building and killed, he bashed in my fucking eye after we tried to leave..."

"After you stole a radio..." said Tavia.

"Is that true Kenny? Did you steal it?"

"Does it fucking matter?!"

"Kenny!" said Sarita. "Yes we did, your honor. It was only so we could give it to Luke so we could escape."

"I see. Continue."

"Luke got caught looking for food and..."

"How many members of your party did he take?"

"All them except Luke." said Bonnie.

"Hm. What happened next?"

"Luke got caught, they roughed him up pretty bad, and Kenny took the fall for the other radio for Clementine and Carver did mess up his eye." said Bonnie.

"Okay. Well?" Alex turned to Carver's group. "Explain to me why you kidnapped the group.

"Carver only grabbed them by force because of Rebecca there." said Tavia. "She knew it was his so..."

"And what made him think that? I thought she was married to Alvin?" said Alex.

"They'd been trying for a kid for years and nothing came of it." explained Tavia. "It seems more logical that it would be his."

"First off, let me tell you something. Just because she could be pregnant with his child doesn't mean shit!" said Alex. "If it was born, I could see some reason for Carver to go after the group. However please explain why the fuck you have to take the whole group? It'd be a lot easier to get the mom."

"That's because our boss here knew they'd come after her." said Troy.

"That's almost the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Just about." he rolled his eyes. "If you thought so, why not just kill the whole group after getting a hold of the mother?"

"We actually needed a bigger...ow!" Troy was elbowed by Tavia.

"What? Needed a bigger what?" Alex stared at Troy.

"I bet it was because of the huge herd of walkers coming." said Kenny.

"Oh really? So slave labor!"

"It wasn't slave labor if we paid them with food." said Tavia.

"Keep telling yourself that! You forced a group of people from their home, forced them to work, beat them or mistreated them when they either tried to escape or when they displeased you and you...OH MY GOD...CARVER'S A TIME TRAVELING SLAVER! MY GOD! WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS BEFORE! IT ALL MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE!"

"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" the bailiff rolled his eyes.

"Uh well uh...jury?"

"GUILTY!" they cried out.

"You heard 'em." said the judge. "Carver I sentence you be treated like an egyptian slave. Yeah, you have to build a pyramid with your bare fucking hands using clay and that shit better be good. You have three days or you're getting whipped you mother fucker!"

"WHAT?! THIS IS..."

"Don't care! Tavia, for backing up this asshole, you get glory hole duty." said Alex.

"Excuse me?" she blinked.

"Troy, you're doing it too."

"WHAT?! WHAT KINDA COURT ROOM IS THIS?!"

"The justice kind! NOW FUCK OUTTA HERE! Oh and Bonnie, I didn't forget your bitch ass either."

"Me!? But helped..."

"You still have to do some explaining for being apart of it. You lead them there."

"But I didn't know..."

"Too bad. Don't worry. Your sentence isn't too bad." he grinned evilly. "Bukkake duty."

"Bu...excuse me?" she wasn't sure what that was.

"You won't suffer alone. Troy's joining you and so is Carver."

"I want a retrial!" said Carver.

"Too late." he slammed the gavel down.


	4. Clementine vs Luke

A guest thought of this story idea. Thanks for that. The amount of Cluke is too damn high! I might end up doing Narah/Sack next or somewhere down the road.

* * *

"All raise for Judge Alexander." said the bailiff. Surprisingly Lee stood up only to sit back down. "Fucker!"

"I'm getting real tired of this shit." said Alex sighing. "Lee just stand up. It only take like 5 to 10 seconds."

"That's too long!"

"Stop being a lazy idiot!" said Carley.

"Whatever. Case?"

"We got the little girl again and ANOTHER case of child abuse with a bit of molestation." said the bailiff.

"AGAIN!? WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE FUCKING WITH THIS KID?! I mean she's adorable, but really?" he shook his head.

"Clementine is taking Luke here for hitting on her, touching her inappropitely, raping her, and other things." said the bailiff. "It's pretty graphic to be honest."

"Wait Luke...Luke...where I heard that name before?" asked Alex tapping his lip gently with his gavel.

"He was in here before for being apart of the group who harmed her."

"I should have fuckin' known." said Alex. "That bastard looks like a in denial pedophile. Figures his first target would be someone he could overpower. Bring the bastard in."

Once both were seated, Alex threw his gavel at Luke. "OW!"

"MAN UP, PEDO! I DON'T GO EASY ON SICK FUCKS LIKE YOU! WHERE DO YOU GET OFF HARMING LITTLE GIRLS!?"

"I don't!" said Luke. "I never..."

"SILENCE!" roared Alex. "Clementine, once this is over, you're getting turned into a damn cyborg."

"Oooh!" said Clementine liking this idea.

"Anyways, Clementine. What did this dick and his dick do to you?"

"He forced me to have sex with him your honor." she said in a sad voice. "He told me if I wanted to stay with the group and not get caught by Carver or a walker, I'd have to suck his penis. Then he'd try and make it okay by...by...by..."

"Go on. Take your time." he said as the bailiff gave the little girl some tissues.

"He'd tell me that it was supposed to feel good for both of us." she sniffled. "Then he would make me touch myself!"

"Why did you not tell any of the other adults? Where they...?"

"Oh no!" said Clementine. "He made me promise not to."

"You didn't trust any of the adults?"

"Well there was Kenny." said Clementine. "But I dunno...I-I kind of thought it'd be worse."

"YEAH CUZ I'D BEAT HIS ASS!" yelled Kenny.

"You should have told!" said Alex.

"I-I couldn't! We needed Luke to help us leave." said Clementine.

"You could have found another way." said the judge. "But what happened wasn't your fault. I doubt the assholes would have been much help anyways. Hell they probably would have encouraged it or wouldn't have the balls."

"Hey!" said the group.

"Luke? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I didn't do it!" said Luke.

"Oh really? Lemme read a passage off here. AHEM!" Alex put on some reading glasses to look more dramatic and professional even though they were missing the lens. "Luke nibbled on her ear while the young woman sat in his lap, both of his hands squeezing her small, but cute bottom. Clementine whimpered as his ERECTION GRINDED AGAINST HER LEG. EXPLAIN THAT YOU SICK BITCH!"

"I NEVER..."

"'Luke, I don't know about this.' Clementine whispered as Luke undid her pants before sliding her underwear and pants down her smooth hairless legs. 'Don't worry, Clem.' said Luke in a low, seducetive manner as he removed his pants. 'I'll be real gentle.'"

"I didn't..."

"And this goes on to describe you fucking her!" said Alex slamming down the papers after looking them over. "I'll save the audience from hearing you bust nuts in this poor young girl and how you did it! EXPLAIN IT!"

"I LOVED HER!" sobbed Luke. "She was my everything...UNTIL SHE SNITCHED! YOU SAID YOU LIKED IT! YOU'D SAID YOU'D..."

"FUCK YOU! I'M A CHILD!" said Clementine. "I haven't even started bleeding yet, let alone have boobs!"

"You heard him admit it. Jury?"

"Guilty!" said Sakura. "Let me at that bastard, CHA!"

"GIVE HIS ASS A NEW ASSHOLE!" said Naruto. "THEN SHOVE GHOST PEPPERS IN BOTH OF 'EM!"

"THROW HIM IN JAIL WITH THE BIGGEST DICK YOU CAN FIND!" said Shepard. "LITERALLY!"

"KILL HIM!" said Ice King.

"KICK DIRT IN HIS FACE!" said Jake the dog. Everyone looked at him. "What? That stuff hurts!"

"Luke, I sentence you to get fucked with the world's biggest dick, biggest dildo, and sharpest anal beads. After that, you will be beaten with a whip by Clementine after each fucking. Oh and Kenny, Lee, and anybody else have permission to beat your dumb ass. HAVE AT 'EM FELLOWS!"

Luke started to spout some bullshit, but was quickly overtaken by every fist and gun in the court room.

* * *

To anyone wondering where I got that Cluke stuff from, I made it up although every Cluke story involves them fucking at one point or another. Sometimes it doesn't though. *shrugs* Then again, that's the same with all couples.

I'll be damned into going into full detail. Also Scumbag Kindergarten ft all your favorite characters from TWD and then some. It's coming out soon after I post this.


	5. Lee (and kind of Carley) vs Bill

A guest thought of this. Based off the scumbag interviews (closed until S3).

 **DaFlameDF** \- Yeah. The numbers for him are pretty low. XD I love Doug though. I'd love it if he was given a love interest (not counting Carley). Perhaps Lee or even Lilly? LOL But seriously though, Doug's pick rate is so low it's not funny. I guess because everyone wants Lee to get laid.

* * *

"All raise for Judge Alexander." said the bailiff. Everyone stood up as the man came in and then sat after he sat.

"Case for today?" asked Alex. "I hope it isn't the girl again."

"It isn't. It's that asshole Lee."

"Oh! Well what's up?"

"Lee is taking Bill Ciphers for impregnating his girlfriend/lover Carley." said the bailiff.

"Bring 'em in." when they sat on their respective sides, Alex turned to Lee. "Okay excuse what happened."

"This asshole got my girlfriend pregnant!" said Lee.

"She came onto me!"

"After you were dressed up like me!"

"Did Carley tell him no?"

"Well technically I didn't, but..." Carley was interrupted.

"Well if it wasn't rape, then what the fuck are you doing here!? It's not my fault you can't keep your damn legs closed! Sue her for that perhaps" said Alex. "Bill, it says here you were counter suing him for being a rotten cheater?"

"Of course I am! He's a no good jerk!" said Bill. "He's a cheater, a liar, and doesn't deserve her!"

"How so?"

"For one thing, he got a minor to tape pornography and the two planned to trade it for money." said Bill.

"I did no such..."

"Example number one." Bill snapped his finger and a large screen appeared. Carley had just come out of the hotel bedroom where the scumbag gang was staying until the next interview session. A few minutes later a man knocked on the door.

 _ **"You got the video?"**_

 _ **"Of course I do."**_

 _ **"She sucked the dick?"**_

 _ **"Yep. Duck got some good angles." said Lee grinning as they exchanged goods.**_

 _ **"Sweet. Hey do you have last week's session?" asked the man.**_

 _ **"Sold out, I'm afraid." said Lee counting his money.**_

"THAT'S A DAMN LIE!" shouted Lee.

"Lee how could you!" said Carley.

"Pornography distributed without the consent of the first party!" said the judge. "And to top it all off, he let a minor see him fuck and film it!"

"I don't know who that handsome bastard is!" said Lee.

"And there's also the fact that he knew Duck had watched them go at it in the motel in not to mention he filmed it there!" Bill showed the footage of Duck hiding in the closet filming Lee and Carley going at it. He then showed the footage of Duck filming Lee and Lilly. "Not to mention he cheated on her with Lilly."

"That must be my twin brother."

"Stop lying! According to your birth certificate, you were a single birth and the only sibling you have is Bradford, your younger brother who is younger than you by years, not weeks or days or hours or even seconds."

"I OBJECT!"

"On what grounds?" said the judge.

"ON...ON...on...uh...never mind..."

"Jury?"

"GUILTY!" said the jury.

"Lee Everett, I sentence you to wear a Chasity belt."

"WHAT?! BUT I CAN'T FUCK!" whined Lee.

"That's what you get for being a cheater and denying our baby!" said Carley.

"DAMMIT, IT ISN'T MINE!"

"Ahahahahaha!" laughed Bill.

"I don't know why you're laughing. You gotta pay child support if it's your's." said Alex.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

Sorry it's a bit short.


	6. Doug vs Lee

Guest- I saved him on one file, but left him in the other. Doug's pretty cool, but most pick Carley because she looks good and/or want Lee to get with her. Personally I don't mind either.

* * *

This was suggested by DaFlameDF.

* * *

"All stand for Judge Alexander." said the bailiff. Lee stood up only to sit back down. "For fucks sake, STAND YOUR DISRESPECTFUL ASS UP!"

"YO MAMA!"

"Oh will you two just shut up!?" said Alex. "I'm tired of your bickering! Just read me off the case before I fire you!"

"But he...fuck it!" he read off the case. "Doug is suing Lee for leaving him behind and saving Carley."

"Hm interesting. Alright bring the turds in." Doug and Lee walked in and sat at their respective tables. "Alright now..."

"Your honor, this fat fuck is full of shit!" said Lee.

"Speak when spoken to, asshole!" said the bailiff.

"KISS MY ASS!"

"HOW ABOUT I KICK IT INSTEAD!"

"HOW ABOUT I FIRE YOU AND KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME SPEAK!" demanded the raven glaring at both men. "Now DOUG tell us what brings you here today?"

"Your honor, Lee left me to die." said Doug. "Back at the pharmacy, I was about to be pulled out of the window by walkers and Carley had one on her leg. All Lee had to do was toss her the purse she had with her bullets in it and come over to me! I wasn't even that far away! He watched me while I got yanked outside and got my guts ripped out!"

"Damn. Your response?"

"First off, it had her by her ankle, not her leg you fat fuck..."

"You're not helping your case calling people names." said the judge crossing his arms.

"Second off, by the time I gave Carley her stuff, I can't help you were pulled through the window FAGGOT!" said Lee ignoring the judge.

"Why did you save Carley?"

"Because she was hot, duh!" said Doug. "And I also found out she knew you were a criminal and since she kept it to herself, he saved her!"

"That's half right. I could have easily let her die."

"So you admit you only saved her because she looked good!" said Doug.

"Maybe." said Lee crossing his arms. "Maybe I was grateful."

"If you could have, would you have saved Doug?" asked the judge.

"Not with this shitty attitude he has!" said Lee.

"You weren't going to save me anyways!" said Doug. "I have a witness I want call to the stand."

"Who you gonna call, ya swine?" said Lee.

"Enough with the name calling, Lee." warned the judge. "You're on thin ice here already. Okay Doug. Who's your witness?"

"First..."

"First? There are others?!" said Lee. "How'd you bribe 'em? With drugs!?"

"...Carley to the stand."

"CARLEY?! YOU LEAVE MY WOMAN OUTTA THIS TUBBY!" yelled Lee pointing an angry finger at him.

Carley sat in the witness chair. "So Carley, why do you think Lee saved you?"

"Because he knows I'm the only woman for him, duh." giggled Carley. "Doug is nothing but a fat loser with a tiny baby dick! How dare he even think I want to be with a loser like him? He's ugly and fat!

"Ouch. Isn't that the woman you had a crush on, man?" said Alex. Doug hung his head down in embarrassment and nodded. She had no clue how much it hurt.

"According to these files, Carley was subjected to a love potion given by a mystery donor to Mr. Lee Everett here." the bailiff wore an evil smirk on his face.

"That's bullshit!" said Lee.

"Our video footage shows otherwise. Interviews ringing any bells?"

"So the witness's mind was compromised." said Alex.

"And her testimony won't mean crap anyways." said the bailiff. "She's his girlfriend."

"Ooh right! Don't forget possible baby mama too!" said Alex remembering the last case. "Carley, get your biased ass outta here. Lee, you're in deep shit for that love potion! Pretty sure that's considered rape since you had sex with her and to top it all off, she clearly broke up with you before you practically drugged her! She's not in a her right frame of mind!"

"But...!"

"Doug, your next witness?"

"I want to call Clementine to the stand!" said Doug, still not entirely having recovering from that hurtful remark. Luckily it strengthened his want to defeat Lee in court.

"YOU LEAVE MY..."

"Lee shut up." said Doug bravely.

"I'LL SMACK YOU, BOY!"

"Come do it then!" challenged Doug.

"Move a muscle and I'll crack your skull!" threatened the bailiff.

"Anybody moves and I'll throw all three of you out! Bring in the witness!" yelled the judge.

In walked a younger version of Clementine and at that moment, Lee knew he was fucked. If this was the same Clementine from back then, it was over with. Clementine sat down.

"Um hello." she said somewhat shyly.

"Tell us, Clementine. Did Lee ever indicate he had any malicious intent behind not saving Doug?" asked the judge.

"Actually he something about Doug being big enough to keep the walkers busy while we got away once." she admitted. "And he also told me he hoped he died..."

"When?" asked Alex.

"After he and Doug came from outside before Lee went off to get Glenn."

"I didn't mean it! I was just pissed because..." began Lee.

"You said you did though." said Clementine.

"SHUT UP BRAT!" Clementine flinched and looked upset.

"Yelling at a little girl! Is it bullshit Lee? Well?" the judge glared at the former teacher.

"I-I-I..."

"And he took too long! He could have saved both!" squealed Clementine.

"YOU SNITCH!" yelled older Clementine from the back.

"I've heard enough." said Alex. "No more witnesses. "Jury?"

"We find Lee guilty on account of him being an asshole!" said Sakura.

"In that case, Lee your punishment is to...oh I know! We're going to place you in front of a bunch of walkers and you have to run for at least a mile with weights attached to you. Not only that, but you also to smoke at least 3 packs of cigarettes while you do so."

"WHAT?!" yelled Lee.

"Drag the bastard away!" yelled the judge.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Lee yelled into the sky uh roof as the bailiff hauled Lee off.


	7. Duck vs Young Clementine

This was suggested by Gboy123.

* * *

"Everybody better stand up or get dealt with!" yelled the bailiff.

"Geez, what the heck's wrong with you?" asked Alex. "Wake up on the wrong side of the bad or something?"

"Yep. Something like that." he said still looking pissed. "Let's just say you'll see me suing somebody soon. VERY soon."

"Ooookaaaaay...so what's the case for today?"

"A duck is taking Clementine to court for putting a bug on his pillow."

"A duck? What the hell?" Alex raised a brow at this. Could an actual duck even be admitted inside of a court room? If it could sue, then the creature better be potty trained or it'd be given to the nearest restaurant or in his oven.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking, but that's what it says."

"Well I'll be!" Indeed it said it on the paper. "Wait, why would she be putting a bug on a duck's pillow? Seems like a waste of time. Okay bring the two of 'em in!" Instead of it being both an actual duck and a little girl, it was actually Duck the human and Clementine. "What the...? Where's the duck?"

"I'm right here!" said Duck.

"What the...? A shape shifter?"

"No, my nickname is Duck!" said Duck. "My real name is Ken!"

"Then why didn't you put that on your file?

"Well they said put down your name and they never said which one, so I picked Duck!" said Duck cheerfully while his father DUCKED down so nobody would see him. Get it? Because his son's nickname is Duck and he named him duck and he's really named after him and...okay I'll stop and get back to the case.

"Your FIRST name, you dumbass!" said Alex.

"Well maybe that was what he..."

"Whatever. Just tell us what happened, kid."

"Okay, well back in the moter inn, she kept putting bugs on my pillow!" said Duck pointing an accusing finger at the younger version of Clementine.

"No I didn't!" said Clementine.

"And why did you think this was important enough to bring in here?" asked the judge.

"Because it could have bit me and turned me into some kind of bug lord or...wait...that doesn't sound bad."

"A bug lord? Really?" he rolled his eyes. "Okay then. It's a stupid thought, so I'm just going to say it could have bitten you and give you polio or some shit like a rash. Clementine?"

"I didn't do it! He's always blaming me for stuff!" said Clementine pouting.

"I have a witness!" said Duck. "I wanna call Lee to the stand!"

"Dick!" said Lee glaring at the bailiff.

"Asshole!" he replied.

"Ahem!" Alex drew Lee's attention. "Nice to see you're not zombified."

"Of course not and I'm still pissed about this fucking chastity thingy!" snapped Lee. "When can I take this shit off!?"

"Give it a 2 more weeks."

"Then I ain't saying shit!" Lee noticed little Clementine. "On second thought, after this case. SHE ADMITTED SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT!"

"Well Lee says you did. Did you?"

"N-no!" said Clementine looking down at her hands.

"SEE SHE'S FUCKING GUILTY! LOOK HIM IN THE EYES, YOU SNITCH!"

"I...I...I...I did!" Clementine looked like she was about to cry.

"SEE! TOLD YOU! HOW'S IT FEEL, YA SNITCH!? I HOPE HE SENTENCES YOU TO BE SPANKED FOR LIKE AN HOUR!" he barked at the little girl while she cried.

"Calm down, man!" said Alex banging down his gavel. "You're outta control!"

"I GOT CHASED BY WALKERS BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE BITCH!" Lee growled. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SHORTCUTS I HAD TO RISK MY LIFE TO...oops!"

"2 miles!" said Alex.

"FUCK!"

"Oh and you're the one getting spanked for an hour! Now what's the verdict?"

"We find little Clementine guilty and older Clementine guilty by association." said Rhys.

"Me? B-but why?!" said Older Clementine.

"Because you never had gotten punished for it and technically you are her so you have to be punished too." said Rhys.

"Let's see...how about getting a bunch of mystery bugs crawling all over you?" said the judge after some thought.

"But what if they bite us?!" asked Clementine afraid.

"We'll make sure they aren't poisonous. Now get outta here, especially you Lee!"

"Wait! Don't I get something too?"

"Uh I guess you can watch." he shrugged.

"Awesome! Can I touch one too?"

"Fine weirdo." he rolled his eyes at the strange little boy. "Now fuck outta my courtroom!"


	8. Lee vs Larry

This was suggested by Guest, Flame and DaFlameDF. MAYBE the two flame guys the same person? Maybe someone who wrote "Flame" as their guest name? I dunno. I'm guessing they're not the same. Either way, they thought of this idea. If anybody else suggested this, speak up! I wanna give you credit.

Jimmy Casket- Yeah I do, but what's the case? A little more detail, please? Like why are they in court? I need more details than what you're giving me.

DaFlameDF- Yeah. The Stranger always finds something bad to bitch at you about regardless. It's always like "Yeah you didn't do that, BUT you _did_ do this!" Also I see what you did there. XD Anyways You can't escape criticism no matter what you do! Also yes a LOT of people could take him to court. Kenny and his family, Brie, Lilly, Doug/Carley, Lee, Clementine, etc.

* * *

"All raise for the judge!" said some random old man.

"Who are you?!" said Alex. "Where's my bailiff?!"

"He took the day off." said the old man taking a swig of his whiskey and burped. "Something about getting evidence against somebody to bring into court or somethin'."

"He could have told me and for the love of everything, PUT THAT SHIT DOWN!" he threw his gavel at his bottle. It fell on the ground and broke, spilling his drink. He looked down at his bottle for what seemed like an hour. Before the judge could say ask, he started screaming like a banshee as he jumped up and down before throwing himself down on the floor and started screaming like a rich and spoiled child who was told he fly his parents' private jet because he's not old enough to fly.

"Somebody get that fool outta here!" said Alex. "Sakura, get over here and do work!"

Sakura got up and pulled the old man out of the building. He tried fighting back and failed considering how much stronger she was than him. Once the old man was gone, Alex quickly hired Sakura as his temporary bailiff. She opened up the file and read it. "Lee Everett is suing Larry for discrimination, assault, and attempted murder."

"That asshole." he rolled his eyes. "Okay bring 'em in."

Once both Lee and Larry came in, the insults started. "RACIST PIECE OF SHIT!"

"MURDERER!"

"CUNT!"

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Cut it out you idiots!" snapped Sakura.

"Make me!" snapped Lee. Sakura came over and punched the metal table, breaking in half. "Shutting up now."

"Okay so you're back again to sue someone and this time for good reason. Explain how Larry over here was discriminating you, assaulting you, blah blah blah..."

"First off that asshole is a racist! HE HATES ME CUZ I'M BLACK!"

"I never said that!"

"So you admit it's true!" accused Lee.

"It's not!"

"Explain how you're always so hostile towards me in particular!"

"Is it true, Larry?" asked the judge. "Are you hostile because he's black?"

"NO! I'm hostile because he's a murderer!" said Larry.

"I can see why he'd be hostile towards you because of that." admitted the judge tapping his chin. "Has Larry treated Clementine hostility? I mean she is African American too."

"Well no..."

"See! Your 'discrimination' argument is invalid! **HA**!" said Larry smirking as he crossed his arms as he laughed at Lee.

"He's right." interrupted Alex before Lee could say anything. "If he was a racist, don't you think he'd be an asshole towards her too?"

"Still not buying it. I call Clementine to the stand!"

"Which one?"

"Uh the young one."

Clementine came in and hopped in the seat. "Was Larry any way cruel to you?"

"No. I barely talked to him." said Clementine. "When I did it was only for stuff like where someone was or if I had seen anything."

"So he wasn't mean to you?"

"No." she shook her head. "Do I have to go back in the room with those bugs again?"

"Woman up, kid. You've got an hour left." said the judge. "Be gone child."

Clementine pouted and left.

"There he wasn't cruel to her." said Alex. "She's the only other..."

"I CALL CHRISTA TO THE STAND."

"Oh boy." Larry rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Christa, did..."

"I don't know this man!" said Christa not giving the man time to finish his question. "I've never seen this Larry guy in my life! I've heard about him, but I've never met him before. I don't even know why his dumb ass called me in here!"

"Lee, why'd you call this woman into the court room when she wasn't around to know him?"

"Because...well...uh...you see...I CALL MARK TO THE STAND!"

When Mark came into the room, he was asked if he had seen Larry say anything racist towards Lee. "Well no. He was just really hostile towards Lee. I mean he was pretty much an asshole towards all of us, but mainly towards Lee. Lee said it was because he was a racist when I asked him what his deal was."

"Did you know Lee killed someone before the zombie thing?"

"What?"

"Yes and Larry knew about it."

"Well I can see why he was so hostile towards Lee!"

"HA!" said Larry.

"SHUT UP, LARRY!" snapped Lee.

"Anymore witnesses to prove how full of shit you are?" smirked Larry.

"No." scowled Lee.

"Okay now onto the assault and attempted murder part." said Alex. "Tell me about that part."

"I got your ass now, old man! That asshole over there punched me after I saved his life!" said Lee. "I got the keys AFTER RISKING MY LIFE to give this guy some pills for his bitch ass and then he punches me in the face while all those walkers were coming into the pharmacy thus the attempted murder."

"Larry? Your rebuttal?"

"I admit I did it! But can you blame me?"

"Wait, at the time was Clementine under your care?"

"Yes!" said Lee. "To add onto it, he punched me in front of her!"

"Hm...well...this is a bit difficult. It was a bit of a dick move to be honest...but given your past it makes sense for him to not trust you."

"WHO WOULD HAVE CARED FOR CLEM THEN!?"

"We would have taken care of her!" said Larry. "You think I'd leave a little girl behind?"

"Jury, have your reached your verdict?"

"Yep!" said the jury. "They're both guilty!"

"How?!" said Larry.

"He helped you and you assaulted him! Plus even if we let that slide, you never told anybody outside of your daughter that Lee was a murderer thus putting everyone at risk!" said Ranpha. "Also Lee's guilty because he wasted our time with that bullshit earlier otherwise known as defamation of character when he accused Larry for racism. Mainly MY time!"

"But...!" said both men in unison.

"You heard 'em! Lee, I sentence you to dress up like a Japanese school girl with white frilly panties and twerk on top of a McDonald's building in Japan while a sign beside you reads 'Wanna Fuck for a Buck?' As for you Larry, you gotta watch and record it!"

"I don't want to that!" said Larry in disgust.

"I don't either!" said Lee.

"Too bad. Hey, at least it'll give you a bit of a kick though afterwards when you post it on youtube!" said Alex. "Now fuck outta here, you two. I gotta get ready for the next case."

* * *

When Mark asks Lee why Larry has something in particular against him, just about every single youtuber I've ever watched play this game has called Larry a racist. Like seriously every one of them. He isn't though. For one thing, Larry says something about if something happens to that little girl (aka Clementine who's also the other African American in the group) Lee'd better watch his ass. He's only like that towards Lee because he knows what happened between Lee and the senator that fucked Lee's wife. So yeah, he's not racist. Anyways Larry only got charged with not telling anybody else about it which could have been dangerous for the group, but luckily it wasn't. I mean if you know a killer is among you in a world full of walkers, don't you think it's still important to tell more than your daughter about it? Although to be fair, I doubt Kenny would listen to Larry after what he tried doing to his son. Carley's guilty of not telling either.


	9. Domestic Duck vs Human Duck

Guest- Yeeeeaaaah...no. If he was a racist, he'd still be a dick towards Lee and Clementine unless he had something against african american men only or african american adults. Also if he thought Clementine was Lee's daughter (as well as a few other folks), then he knew she was african american. Also it's pretty obvious she's african american. Even if you can't tell, look at her picture of her parents. 

DaFlameDF- She can be easily forgotten to be honest. She's only in a few scenes. 

This idea was offered up guest. This one was too funny to resist. XD I'll have another case up later. 

"Everyone please raise for the judge." said Sakura. 

"What's the case for today?" asked Alex plopping in his chair. 

"The case today is..." 

"Wait, why do we have zoo keepers in the court today?" Sure enough there were a couple of zoo keepers in the room on stand-by. Were they lost of something? 

"Oh they're here for the plantiff." 

"Excuse me?" 

"The case for today is that an actual duck is suing Ken jr i.e. Duck for stealing their species' name." said Sakura. "And yeah I checked it more than once. It's a duck." 

"I hope he used the bathroom before he comes in. Alright, come on in!" In waddled an actual fucking DUCK and in _walked_ Duck aka Ken Jr. Before anything could be said, Duck was quick to point out that he could be doing something else inside of being sued by a stupid duck. 

"Who are you calling stupid, boy!?" yelled the duck in a booming voice drawing the attention of everyone in the court room. Who knew such a thunderous voice could come from such a small creature? Nobody really. "I'm a hell of a lot smarter than you!" 

"No you're not!" said Duck who wasn't shitting himself at the site of a duck talking in such a deep voice. "You're just a dumb duck who can just talk!" 

"And that makes me dumb huh? You're lucky I don't come over there and beat your bitch ass!" 

"Judge, he's threatening me!" shouted Duck. 

"You're provoking him." said the judge. "Now, Mr. Duck. Why have you brought us here?" 

"This idiot stole our species name and he's giving it a bad name!" said the duck gesturing to the boy. 

"I didn't steal your dumb name!" said Duck. "It's a nickname! That's why this is so stupid." 

"It doesn't matter. You steal stole the name and claimed it as your own!" pointed at the duck. "You're posing as a Duck! Nobody calls you by your real name. They just call you duck! MY NAME! MY WHOLE SPECIES NAME! YOU DIDN'T ASK PERMISSION! YOU'RE A FAKE DUCK! A QUACK!" 

"He has a point...to a degree." admitted the judge. He kind of found it amazing how funny this case was and how big of a fit the duck was throwing. "Now what's this about giving ducks a bad name?" 

"Whenever I go on down to the pond for a drink, some assholes go, 'Look there's duck! Do you think he knows that idiot duck? If I throw a piece of bread at him, do you think he'll sound like that little punk from Telltales: The Walking Dead? I feel bad that they share the name with that annoying little shit!'. I'm tired of it! I want him banned from using my species name! He's a human! He can't call himself a duck!" 

"I feel your pain duck. It's gotta be a pain to be reminded everyday that someone shares your name with you. Oh wait, no I don't." shrugged the judge. "But anyways, I can see your point. Du..." 

The duck gave the judge a dirty look. "I mean Ken. Your response." 

"Dad named me duck!" 

"Then he's at fault too! KILL HIM!" He quaked flapping his wings with feathers flying everywhere. 

"Hey calm down!" yelled the judge banging down his gavel. "You assholes had better clean up those feathers and calm that bitch down!" 

While they calmed him down, he turned to the little boy again. "As you were saying?" 

"Dad named me that and it wasn't my fault." 

"YOU WENT WITH IT!" 

"Shut up over there!" yelled Alex. He shook his head. Please no more animals. Stupid fowl messing up my court room you fucker or I'm having duck soup tonight he thought bitterly. 

"And I never claimed to be a real duck in the first place." said Ken Jr. 

"Jury?" 

"We find Du...uh Ken Jr. not guilty on account of he never claimed to be a real duck nor did he name himself that." said Gared. 

"You heard the man. Now take 'em back to the zoo." said Alex. The duck quaked with rage trying to attack Ken Jr, but in his blind rage attacked the audience. The zoo keepers finally got him after firing multiple sedates at the duck, but most of the missed and hit several people. Once the duck had about 19 needles in him, the duck finally fell asleep and was hauled back to the zoo. 

A bit short. I had a longer version, but it didn't save on the site so I had to rewrite everything. 


	10. Liara & Nick vs Sarah & Luke plus CS

A new court chapter because it's been a while. Also Secret Life of Writing was the one who suggested the other case I wasn't sure if I left anybody out of or not.

Idea by **Gboy123** and the second one is by **MistyxKisame aka me.**

* * *

"All raise for the honorable judge Alexander." said Sakura. Everybody did their thing and stood up and then sat their asses back down because they had to.

"What's case for today, Miss Haruno?" he asked.

"Actually I'm…"

"Nobody cares, just read me the case." he interrupted her. She rolled her eyes.

"For today's case, Liara T'Soni and Nick McShithead is taking Sarah and Luke to court for Sarah dumping Nick for Luke." she blinked and reread that sentence. " _That's_ his actual last name?"

"No wonder she dumped him." the judge said shaking his head. "Alright, bring the fuckers in."

Once everyone was sitting down, the judge turned to Nick. "Tell me, how do you feel about the last name 'Shithead'?"

"What's that got to do with me?"

"It says it's your last name, that's why I asked." he answered waving around the file.

"What?! I bet this was Clementine's doing!" said Nick furious.

"How the hell would she hack into government property?" he asked genuinely curious as to how she could possibly know how to do that. Last time he checked, Clementine wasn't a hacker. He'd probably believe it if it was someone else, but not her.

"She got Doug to do it." said Liara.

"How the hell did you know that?" he said in surprise.

"I have my ways." she responded mysteriously.

"We'll talk later." he turned to Sarah. "How're you doing today?"

"I'm fine. I honestly don't know why I'm here though." said Sarah. "I can be taken to court just because I broke up with someone?"

"Considering the last case involved a duck taking a person nicknamed Duck to court, yeah."

"You have a point."

"Okay, McShithead." began the judge turning back to Nick. "Explain to us why we're all wasting our time here in this court room because you can't let shit go."

"As a judge, you shouldn't be saying things like that." pointed out the asari. "You could get fired."

"I was joking...sort of." Liara shook her head. "Anyways, Nick go on."

"For a while, I did love Sarah. I wanted to grow old with her, maybe even have a few kids here and there, and die in her arms." he said in a sad voice. "So as you can imagine, when she left me for my so called best friend, I was an emotional wreck."

"Didn't you…?" began the young woman narrowing her eyes at her ex-boyfriend. If she remembered correctly, while he did look upset, he moved on very fast.

"Sarah, wait your turn." Sarah sighed and shut up for the time being. "Continue."

"I can't tell you how badly I wanted to die." Nick started back again. He went on a tangent about how depressed he was and he had contemplated tossing him outside of a window because he didn't want to live without her love. There was a mixture of sympathy and heartbreak over how the man described how hopeless his life was without his Sarah. Luke and Sarah rolled their eyes at Nick's well though out lie as he violently tugged on the audience's heartstrings.

"You seemed perfectly fine two chapters afterwards." mumbled Sarah.

"As I was saying, if it wasn't for Liara here kicking me out of my slump then I wouldn't be here today." finished Nick. Someone called him a brave soul while a good amount of folks murmured in agreement.

The judge turned to Luke and Sarah. "Okay, what do the two of you have to say for yourselves?"

"Nick's full of shit." blurted out Sarah much to the shock of the people who thought Sarah would never in her life curse. Someone even fainted at hearing her of all people use that sort of language.

"That's put a little strongly put, but yeah." said Luke. "He's full of it. First off we were under influence by a scumbag potion. We couldn't control our actions at that time and as dedicated as Sarah was to Nick, she would have NEVER broken up with him! And I'm his best friend! Well was...still though, I'd wouldn't still my own best friend's girl from him! I don't even like Sarah like that! Second off, they broke up in chapter 42 and Nick moved on with Liara afterwards in 44!"

"Is this true?" The judge asked raising a brow at the pair.

"Yes your honor, but…" said Liara.

"Then it's settled. Jury?"

"We find Sarah and Luke not guilty." said Naruto. "Nick is a sack of shit though."

"Well that was short." the raven haired man said impressed. "Damn, that means no punishments now! Aw!"

"We do have time for at least one more then." spoke up his bailiff.

"Shit. Okay, get the hell out you bastards!" he yelled at said bastards. The four filed out and left to who knows where. "What's this case then?"

"Mr. Lee Everett hasn't paid child support since the birth of his 4 kids." read off Sakura. "Oh and neither has Kenny."

"Bring 'em in." Once Lee and Kenny and the women came in, Alex took it upon himself to ask about Carley. "So, Lee, was it your's?"

"No. It's this bastard's kid." he poked Kenny hard.

"Ow!" the two then proceeded to poke each other until Sakura got annoyed and told them to cut it out or she'd happily toss them out. After they both stopped, the judge asked the women about their child support.

"Your honor, I got pregnant with Lee's kids and not once has he even attempted to help me out!" Lilly exclaimed. "I have to feed them by myself, change dirty diapers, and I can't get any sleep because I'm constantly having to get up and tend to 3 kids!"

"Are they all his?" he asked.

"Are they all...of course they are!" she said insulted. "Why the hell would you ask that?!"

"Well considering Carley..."

"Fuck her! She's a whore!"

"Wanna come say that to my face, bitch!" yelled Carley from the back of the court room. The two women yelled back and forth some insults until Sakura broke a table and threatened to cut them both in half if they didn't shut the hell up in that instant. Both women grumbled and sat down, although Carley was intended to have the last word as she announced she was taking Lilly to court next time. "For what? Fucking your man better than you?"

"If you both don't shut the hell up, I'm letting Sakura beat the shit outta you both!" the judge said annoyed. He cleared his throat. "Anyways, I had to ask because his current wife, Carley, had a baby and it wasn't his. I don't know your relationship status with him so I had to ask."

"Okay, well since they are, why haven't you cared for them?" he asked now talking to Lee.

"I've been busy."

"With what?"

"Sex."

"That's a horrible excuse, dude." he said shaking his head. "Okay, Miss Forrester. What about you?"

"He kicked me and the baby out on the streets!" said Mira.

"You're with Bigby and that idiot isn't staying in my house!"

"So you kicked the mother of your own son out?!" Alex said horrified. "How could you? You wouldn't even house your own baby?"

"I mean I could have, but he's breast fed." said Lee.

"You still didn't have to kick her out!"

"She could have lived with her brothers or Talia."

"That's because I don't want my baby exposed to Asher's constant man fucking!" said Mira. "I've tried telling him to stop being so loud and to keep it in his room, but he refused to listen!"

"Gross." he shook his head as Asher loudly told her to stop spreading lies. "And he also hasn't give you anything for your son?"

"Nope. He said 'Why don't you ask your sugar daddy?' I don't know what that is!"

"Placing your responsibilities on others, eh?" he narrowed his eyes at Lee. "Despicable! Okay why are you here, Kenny? You haven't been paying child support either?"

"I never knew I had to!" said Kenny.

"Yeah you did!" said Duck who was sitting in-between Lilly and Mira. "When mom said I needed some medicine, you said, 'Why don't you ask your boyfriend?' I bet you pay child support for Kimberly!"

"I was just mad when I said that!" said Kenny.

"Does Kenny take care of you, Duck?" the judge asked the little boy. He shook his head. "Well then, you're both terrible fathers to all of your kids! Jury?"

"We the jury find both of these bastards guilty!" said Master Roshi.

"As expected. Lee and Kenny, you're both sentenced to paying child support and Lee you have to house Mira along with your son AND Bigby."

"Huh?! Why?!"

"Because I want to see you suffer." he smirked evilly while Lee pouted. "Lilly, I would place you there with him, but in order to not see you two back in here for a damage caused during a fight, you're staying where you are. However Lee is required to take the kids every other day."

"It's better than nothing I suppose." she sighed.

"Kenny, you'd better take better care of your kid before you lose custody of both of 'em!"

"I only have custody of one!" said Kenny.

"Right. Well now you can have joint custody. Now get the hell outta my courtroom, ya scumbags!"


	11. Carley vs Lilly

Idea from **Flame**.

* * *

"What's the case for today, Sakura?" asked Alex as he took a seat in the judge's seat.

"You didn't even let me..."

"It takes up too much time." interrupted Alexander. "I'm just going to walk in for now on and when I ask you speak, 'kay?"

"If you say so." she rolled her eyes. "Carley is suing Lilly for killing her."

"Finally!" said Alexander. "A case that isn't stupid for once! Been a while."

"We had one that was pretty serious 3 cases ago." said Sakura. "And I'm pretty sure child support goes along with the serious thing too."

"Oh right." he thought about it. "I was thinking about that whole thing with Nick and Sarah. Anyways, get their asses in here."

When the women got inside and sat down, they began arguing with each other. Already irritated, he slammed his gravel down. "Hey, you two idiots! Quiet down or else!"

"She started it!" They pointed at each other.

"I don't give a damn!" he sighed. "Carley, go ahead and tell your side of the story. Lilly, you can your's _**after**_ Carley tells her side of the story. If you open your mouth, I'm declaring Carley the victor and you're getting punished. Got it."

"Fine." Lilly crossed her arms and sat back into her chair glaring at Carley.

"Well your honor, it all started after we had just escaped the motor inn. We had gotten overrun by both walkers and bandits and we all piled into the RV that had been left abandoned at the inn and rode down the road. Lilly then accused Ben and I for giving the bandits the supplies that had gone missing. I don't know why she accused me or Ben. Just because I ask how he's doing and talk to the kid, she assumed we were working together."

Lilly looked as if she really wanted to say something, but didn't want to get thrown out so she kept her mouth closed. Meanwhile Carley continued her story. "Then we hit a walker and we stopped so Kenny could get the walker so we could get back on the road. Lilly meanwhile made us get out and the conversation went off from there. I told her off about what an idiot she was being. Just as Kenny had finally pulled it from under the RV she shot me."

"And why did she shoot you?"

"I believe it was because I called her a bitch." said Carley. "That doesn't mean I had to get shot."

"Did you attempt to attack her?"

"No. Just verbally and I only did it because she was blaming me for something I didn't even do!"

"Okay, Lilly." he turned to her. "What's your side?"

Lilly told pretty much the same story. "And can you blame me for being mad and accusing people? With medical supplies being precious, I had to accuse the two most likely to steal them."

"And do you have any evidence Carley could have done it?"

"No, but considering how much Ben the new guy in the group hung out with her, can you blame me?"

"So Ben was the main suspect because he was new." when she nodded, he looked confused. "So tell me this, did you trust him?"

"No..."

"Then why the hell let him in? As a matter of fact, seeing as he's the new guy in the group, I understand letting him in, but instantly in making sure he couldn't get to the supplies until you actually trusted him."

"I guess." said Lilly, her face red from embarrassment. What he said made a ton of sense. If she didn't trust him, she should have let someone else look after the supplies that she knew would keep an excellent job at it.

"Well too late to do anything now." he said looking at the case file. "Anyways, so according to the witness statements, you shot her while she was both unarmed and turned away from you. And to top it all off, your accusations were **half** right. Ben stole the supplies while Carley was innocent in the whole affair."

"Yes, but...!"

"Carley, you had a witness?"

"Yes. I want to call Lee to the stand."

Lee came in and got into the witness's stand. Alexander turned to the former teacher. "Okay Lee. What happened?"

"Lilly pulled out a gun and shot Carley in the head." said Lee.

"Was it in self defense?"

"Nope."

"No more que..."

"Objection!" said Lilly.

"On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that he was in a relationship with her and is biased!"

"Oh right." said the judge. "Lee your testimony might not mean crap."

"What!?" said Carley while Lilly looked smug.

"Well I tried." shrugged Lee.

"Thanks for not giving upon me, jack ass." the brunette said narrowing her eyes at the man. "I wanna call Clementine to stand!"

"Objection! Clementine'll say anything to please Lee!" said Lilly.

"Fine. Then I call Kenny..."

"He hates me!" interrupted the taller woman once more. "He'd be totally against me because..."

"Lilly, would you just shut the hell up?!" snapped Carley holding back the urge to punch Lilly in the face. "You're only saying that because you know you're in the wrong!"

"Well they are biased and Kenny'd be against me! You know we didn't like each other and fought all the time!" said Lilly. "He's testimony wouldn't mean anything!"

"Is that true?" asked the judge.

"Yeah." said Lee who was still in the witness chair. "I thought war was gonna break out."

"Okay then. Anybody that's neutral that could be a witness? How about that Duck kid?"

"Duck was bitten and with...oh!" A light bulb had went off in her head. "Katjaa! I want to call Katjaa to the stand!"

"Any objection to that?" Lilly had opened up her mouth, but then closed it. Katjaa had always been a pretty neutral party out of all of them. She couldn't come up with a good reason as to why Katjaa couldn't testify. She ended up just saying.

When Katjaa had come in, she was asked what had happened. She retold how she had heard Lilly blaming Ben and Carley for taking the missing supplies that she had heard about through Lee. She hadn't seen Lilly shoot Carley, but she heard Kenny say something about how Lilly would probably shoot him next and she had seen Carley's body on the ground and then Lilly had been left behind for shooting her. After Katjaa had given her testimony, Ben was called up next. His statement proved to be worthless as he didn't give him one as Lilly kept giving him the evil eye.

"Your honor, Lilly's influencing the witness!" she said pointing an accusing finger at the woman.

"I'm not." said Lilly in an innocent voice. "You're seeing things."

"C-can I go now?" asked Ben.

"You haven't said anything."

"I don't think I want to anymore."

"You don't...say what happened or else!" said the judge.

"You can't threaten the witness, sir." Sakura reminded the judge.

"Shit. I think I just ruined his confession." he sighed. "Get the hell outta here, kid."

Ben happily and quickly left the court room, glad not to be under the gaze of the woman. As much as he wanted to help Carley out, he was much too afraid of Lilly to say anything. He could only mentally wish her good luck. The judge asked for the jury's verdict.

"Your honor, we find Lilly guilty of murder." said Roshi. "Even if she does have nice tits. Hehheh."

"I plead insanity!" said Lilly just now thinking of this.

"Too late. Maybe next time." Alex said slamming down his gravel. "For your punishment, I sentence you to watch your father's pornos."

"That's not a punishment!" said Omid from the back of the room.

"It's of her dad."

"Oh! Never mind!"

"Glad I'm not her." said someone while a few others murmured in agreement.

"Your honor please!" begged Lilly. "Anything but that!"

"I'm not finished yet! You also have to clean the bathrooms for a month after everyone takes laxatives and stains the toilets, you have to walk around buck-naked for that month, and you have to live like a wild animal in fenced in area."

"But...!"

"Court dismissed!"

* * *

That's all for now. Meanwhile I've decided to just do TWD Quizlet instead of Kindergarten. It'll come later, just not now.


	12. Kenny & AJ's Parents vs Jane

**It's been a while since I've updated this story. I have to say, this is probably one of my favorite stories. :P**

* * *

 ** _Fun Fact: I actually wrote this back in late January of 2015 before this became a thing. Why I never did anything with it, I dunno. I don't know if anybody will be still interested in this but I'll update it anyways. I'll do more if anybody is still interested in this._**

* * *

 ** _Case: Alvin, Rebecca, and Kenny vs Jane_**

 ** _Alvin, Rebecca, and Kenny are pressing charges against Jane because she left Alvin Jr. in a car in the middle of a blizzard, thus endangering his life._**

* * *

Judge Alexander was making sure he finally had on his judge uniform the correct way when her bailiff, Sakura, poked her head in. "Hey, Alex, there're some people sitting out here looking confused. Somethin' about here's the judge…"

"Oh crap! I'm coming. Go ahead and announce me!" he said to the ninja.

She nodded and left. Alex started walking towards the door, but he ended up tripping over his long judge suit. If only the tailor's shop was open. His last robe had been vandalized by an unknown asshole who had not only damaged his robe, but also his entire bedroom. He wouldn't be surprised if it were one of the guilty parties that had been in his courtroom. He walked on in, tripping much to some of the crowd's amusement. When he got to his podium, he ordered everyone to shut up before they were thrown out. Once everyone was quiet, he ordered Sakura to hand him the case.

"Let's see here…oh! How interesting!" the judge observed, believing this case was a long time coming. "Alvin, Rebecca, and Kenny are suing Jane for putting Alvin Jr in danger. Bring them on in."

A few seconds later, Alvin, Rebecca, and Kenny walked in, followed by Jane. Once everyone was seated, the judge noticed that the Plaintiffs were glaring at Jane while said woman was just sitting there with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

"Okay, one of you state your case." said Alex. "…but first, does Sakura need to…you know…"

"That won't necessary, your honor." said Rebecca.

"Speak for yourself!" said Jane. "That crazy fucker didn't kill _you_!"

"Says the woman who put our son in danger!" said both Alvin and Rebecca at the same time.

"Order! Order in the court!" the judge said as he pounded his gavel onto his podium as angry threats and comments were shouted at Jane from both the Plaintiffs and the audience. "Sakura, get between them and make sure a fight doesn't break out. The floor's new."

Sakura nodded and got between the two tables. Her expression dared anyone to try to attack either other. With everything settled down, Kenny told the court what happened. "It was freezing out and that crazy bitch over there put AJ's life in danger! She could have just had him when she found us, but for some damn reason, she decided leaving him in a fucking car was the best idea! He could have frozen to death! She never wanted him around anyway!"

"Is this true Jane?"

"I never said I didn't want him around." said Jane.

"You implied it though!" pointed out the bearded man.

"I did not!"

"You lying bitch! Yes you did!"

"Don't call me a bitch, you maniac! No wonder you don't have anybody! They couldn't stand you and killed themselves as result!"

That was the last straw for Kenny was he jumped over the table and tried to get to Jane, but luckily Sakura noticed this and grabbed Kenny by the back of his coat. Jane just sat there looking quite smug about it. No one could blame Kenny for wanting to attack the young woman. She had just touched a nerve, a nerve she knew all too well…the very same nerve that got her killed in the first place.

"Do you have any witnesses that you would like to call to the stand?" Alex asked Kenny.

"Yes. I call to the stand Clementine." said Kenny.

Clementine walked in and took a seat in the witness chair. "So Clementine, did Jane ever give you the impression that she didn't want the baby around?"

"Well…a little. I got the impression that she kind of thought the baby would be a burden later on to us." confessed Clementine. "She never said she didn't want him around, but she didn't seem to care for him as he isn't hers."

"Do you think Jane is of good character or not?" asked the judge. When she looked confused, he quickly explained what he meant. "Is she a good person or does she have fault that are in no way acceptable that has put you and/or the baby in danger?"

"Well…she did…uh…kiss Luke instead of them looking out for walkers which put Rebecca in danger while she was pregnant." said Clementine tapping her chin. "Then there was the time where she robbed Arvo and later his group showed up, starting a shooting match, and the baby could have been shot. But she does care about me though. So I guess she okay."

There were muttering in the crowd, with looks of disapproval on everyone's faces. Alex turned to Jane. "So Jane, what's your side of the story. Why did you put that kid in danger in the first place?"

"Because, your honor, I wanted to prove a point!" she told him. "Kenny was dangerous and the only way to show Clementine that was by doing what I did. The kid wasn't in any danger though. He was in a car!"

"A car with no heating in it!" exclaimed Kenny. "And what if he would have started crying and attracted walkers?"

"So you put him in a car to prove a point?"

"Yep. H's dangerous! You should have seen him, your honor! The way he treated that poor boy..."

"That you robbed!" pointed out Kenny. "Remember when you stole the kid's gun and nearly took his medicine? And I'm the only jackass? We got a whole list on your bitchiness!"

"And I got a huge list on you being a huge dick!" she retorted.

"So do I!" yelled Lee in the back of the courtroom.

"You're not helping Lee!" snarled the bearded man. "And not a fucking word Lilly or I swear to..."

"Order in the court!" yelled the man, banging his gravel on his desk. "Anyways, maybe Arvo should be the one suing Kenny. If you truly thought Kenny was dangerous, you should have left Alvin Junior..."

"WILLIAM CARVER JR!" corrected the brunette from the back of the room.

"IT'S NOT YOUR BABY!" shouted Rebeccca and her husband.

"Shut it!" the judge demanded. "As I was saying, you should have left the kid out of it and let Clementine decide for herself."

"But she's a kid!"

"You're trying to say I'm not smart?" asked Clementine, feeling offended.

"What? No! I..."

"I think that's enough for now," he turned to the jury. "What's your verdict?"

The jurors were Launch, Carley, Christa, Diana, Nick, Doug, Ben, Hinata, Chichi, Fred Weasey, Arvo, and Ed this time around They all muttered among themselves for a few minutes before they came to their conclusion. Christa stood up. "We've come to the decision that Jane was in the wrong for what she did to little AJ and she should be punished."

"But...!" exclaimed Jane.

"You heard 'em! As your punishment, Jane you will be locked inside of a car in Antarctica. Don't worry. We're not savages like you."

"Bullshit!" cried several audience members.

"We're going to provide you all with a box of matches, a penguin suit, and a polar bear." continued the judge.

"Wait but that doesn't...!" she was interrupted by a pair of muscular men dressed in large coats and wearing sunglasses. They picked her up by her arms and proceeded to drag her out of the courtroom with her vowing revenge against Kenny on the way out.

* * *

Please resubmit/submit your court cases. They can either be from the Scumbag series or canon. I can tell which is which.

* * *

Next Case: Clementine vs Rebecca- Clementine sues Rebecca on Alvin's account.

I'll try getting to the other cases submitted.

* * *

 **Technically clementine doesn't look very African American compared to lee and even if Larry was racist I doubt he'd be mean to a child.**

She's mixed judging from her mother. Still African american and whatever else. She gets a bit darker as the seasons go on. As for Larry, if he is indeed racist, he's not mean to Clementine at least. I guess that's kinda good. Some racists are mean to children. Some are less vocal about it. Again, I still doubt he's racist. He only doesn't like Lee because he killed someone. Ironic considering he nearly kills Lee after the dude just saves his life.

 **Misty, why don't you sue Negan for harassing you in ScumBob Interviews?**

Eh we'll see.

 **Also, loser has to share a cell with Killer Croc, Deadshot, and the Joker. Also, electroshock therapy.**

Good idea. I'll be sure to use it. :)

 **A court case of the real Lee vs Jason. Also, punishment is that the loser has to spend a month in Arkham Asylum, as well as to dye all of their hairs pink. ALL of their hairs.**

Thanks for the submission and I'll use it.


End file.
